This post has been inspired by a large number of ministry leaders that I have met with over the last year. You see, a big part of my job is to meet with leaders of other organizations and as AtG has been expanding and training partner sites, my time spent with Pastors and Directors of other groups has increased. It has been great to be able to listen and learn from others and it has also been good to be able to be a source of, as well as to receive, encouragement. But there is also a discouraging side of meeting and working with these men and women. We hear their stories and share their tears.
The sad reality is that being a leader in ministry is full of unrealistic expectations. You are always “on duty” and no one can jump as high as the bar is set. Pastors and ministry leader’s lives are under a constant microscope and so are their families. You can’t be open and honest with your struggles. You can’t share your pain and frustration and don’t ever lose your cool for even a second…it can only lead to problems. The truth is that ministering all day long is a lonely road.
We have had our own experiences with this over the last nine years. People have been offended, volunteers have quit, funding has been pulled and rumors have been started. All of this usually happens over expectations that cannot be met or lost confidence because perfection has not been attained. Now I don’t want this to sound like I am whining, that is not what this post is about. It’s about an awareness of the stress and frustrations felt by people who have dedicated their lives to helping others.
I got a call from an elder one day who asked to meet me for lunch. Before the waitress could even bring us our waters he said “Rob…I have to know. How are you doing with the Lord?” I told him that I was doing well, in fact, I felt closer to the Lord than I had in a very long time. The man raised his hands and said “Thank you Jesus…I had heard that you had walked away from the faith”. A misunderstanding of why I had taken a part-time job when they economy went bad had led to the silly rumors.
I have read a couple things lately that have really hit home concerning the pressure that ministry leaders are under. According to “Daring to Lead”, a study of 3,000 non-profit leaders performed every five years, two-third of these leaders plan to leave their positions in the next five years and 10% were currently planning their exit. 65% admitted to significant levels of anxiety caused by the economy. 70% experience loneliness and executives leading organizations that serve economically disadvantaged populations feel that they are facing a relentless demand for services far beyond their capacity to respond. It is a heartbreaking reality.
The situation for pastors is no better. According to H.B. London’s book “Pastors at Greater Risk” 57% would leave the pastorate if they had somewhere else to go or some other vocation they could do. 80% say that they have insufficient time with their spouse and that the ministry has a negative effect on their families. 70% say they have no close friends and 75% report severe stress causing anguish, worry, bewilderment, anger, depression, fear, and alienation. 1.500 pastors leave their positions every single month.
To those who may be considering the ministry. Here is some advice and warnings for your future. Grow very thick skin. Set healthy boundaries and stay on your knees. You have to remember that when you are on the front lines, you will be shot at. Unfortunately, much of the shooting will come from “friendly fire”. Don’t quit and don’t walk away, but make sure you are ready to be ridiculed and misunderstood more often than you are thanked and encouraged. Above all remember this…there is no greater calling than to serve others.
For those who go to church or know a ministry leader, give us a break. Try to remember that we are only humans. Try to remember that most of us have given up potential careers that would provide double what we receive. We don’t do this for the money or the fame…we do it because this is what we are created to do. Most of you get to go home and leave your work there, but we are never “off duty”. We are always ministers and there are always hurting people. When you get offended, and you will, remember that grace and patience are gifts to be given and not just received. Above all, support us, encourage us and pray for us…even when we say everything is fine.